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While trolling the internet, I found a silly article "showing" us how DBZ leads to the devil. This little gem is credited to the Central University of Eucador, I've no idea if it's actually that or not - nor do I really care; The point is to make fun of bad logic. So lets open this vapid hole open, because the stink of it's filth won't go away until we do!

Ah Ecuador, I know I TOTALLY care what they have to say, after all they ARE the experts on satanism! When I think of hell, demons, and satan I think of Ecuador!

I'm pretty sure you mean Shueisha, who owns Shonen Jump, except that they aren't responsible for any of these other shows, which are mostly Toei Animation. Also, Shueisha only does manga. Oh, and Thundercats was made by Rankin-Bass which was a company that had a modus opperandi to promote Christianity, so uhm... good job?

Oh God, don’t tell me they made an anime for Twilight? Nooooooo!

Because you touch yourself at night.

NO! The dairy farmers are with satan now?! Now only the wheat farmers remain in the good side.

It does a soul bad!

Yeah man, satan himself rules a colony on earth, I hear he hangs in the back on the UN meetings, chilling with Fidel Castro. Never mind the fact some people don’t believe in him, he rules a colony, bitches! At least this proves God’s existence. After all, if satan leads a real colony himself, that’s indisputable proof.

You heard it here first folks, Buddhism is Satanism in disguise!

No, it means Dragon Ball, being a ball (which for the uneducated is a sphere that bounces), that has a star on it. The reason they’re called Dragon Balls is if you collect seven of them you can summon a dragon to grant you a wish. But we’ll get more on that in a moment…

nooooooooo…. Kakarot means CARROT. You people are idiots.

Assuming that you’re not full of crap (which is becoming harder and harder to believe), you’re still an idiot. Saiyajin (meaning Saiya Person), is an anagram of the Japanese word Yasai (meaning Vegetable), and the word Jin (Person) affixed together.

Let me guess… they all clearly have satanic names…

I hate it when I’m right, even though you’re wrong. Kamehameha literally translates to Turtle Wave. Alternatively, it’s also the name of a Hawaiian King who united the Hawaiian islands.

But the rest of us, when we want to go higher, we get climbing ropes or get on airplanes. Also, for someone who is clearly against Satanism, you sure know way too much about it in specific detail. Also, you’re still an idiot. Kaioken (which is the correct spelling) mean’s the technique of Kaio, who is the one who taught the technique to Goku. The name Kaio itself is a nonsense word (meaning it was made up and doesn’t mean anything).

They also do clothing drives on Sunday, but on Wednesdays they just lay around and do nothing, the slobs. Also, Goku’s wife’s name is Chi-Chi – not Milk. Now, I do understand that Chi-Chi is slang for breasts… which can make milk… but that’s really reaching

This satan thing is becoming an obsession, the character’s name is Ox King, you’re just randomly putting the word satan into things now…

No, the name is Piccolo, as in the musical instrument. You’re also just making things up now.

The character’s name is Tenshinhan, for one. For two – if he’s named after a protector of day and night I hardly find that to be diabolical. Sure you say that’s a demon – but you seem to like to punch your words up anyway. This is, of course, assuming you’re not entirely making this up, which is the more likely explanation at this point.

It clearly has nothing to do with the fact Buddhist priests also mark their heads in that way, that would be too obvious. Also, Kuririn is named after a Chinese Food not some sorceress, whom I’m pretty sure you just made up.

I still think you’re making shit up, but Yamcha, like Kuririn is named after a food dish…

Wait, so Roshi’s actually a hallucinogenic? And here I thought it was just an honorific, gee you sure showed me!

Kaiosama is a made up word, Kamisama actually means GOD, Enma-Sama and King Yemma are two different Romanizations for the same person, who is a deity in Shinto. It’s official, you’re making shit up. Also, how is one a Prince of satan, when satan is a prince himself? This would be like being the prince of a prince. I guess maybe King Yemma’s Satan’s Id or Ego? Also, Jesus Christ, how many various terms for Satan does one fucking need?

No, you’re making shit up again. Namekusei translates to Planet Namek. Namek actually means slug - Planet Slug in no way means Place of Torment. Though you’re certainly tormenting us all with your bullshit!

I think I’ve discovered the meaning of Ecuador, it means “We who are obsessed with Satan but won’t admit it”. Hey, it makes as much sense as claiming Shenlong means “eternal powerful satan”. Also, I think Soap means “We love Katamari” and Katamari clearly means “stupid satan”, so whenever you bathe, you bathe with stupid satan, who is satan’s retarded stepson.

Don't drop the soap!

But for those who don’t see, they’re safe from all the spoken “references” to satan. Also, you heard it here folks – Dragon Ball leads to lying and fighting!

Wow, you managed to say something true for once, and all it was, is “Dragon Ball makes money off merchandise”. I also want it known that Transformers makes money off merchandise. GI Joe, too.

I hear if you play Dragon Ball episode audio tracks backwards it tells you to worship satan!

...

...

What?

I’m pretty damn sure you can’t “accidentally” summon demons. Because if you could, there would be a lot more problems with this…

Wait, wait, wait! You’re not even a Christian over the top nutter? I want my money back!

SUPER SAIYAN EVIL POOP! See, I told you Dragon Ball GT could’ve been worse!

HIS STINK LEVEL IS OVER 9000!

Uhm, did the writer just change, because you started cussing randomly. Also – YOU tell me why you’re bringing up Christians you confused satan obsessed Ecuadorian!

You’re questioning your own article now? Man, you suck. Also these “symbols” are all stuff you’re making up!

Wait… you took THIS LONG to bring up Mr. Satan? Wow. Anyways, Mr. Satan is a parody of over the top American Wrestlers, and his depiction is rather clear on this. Yes, they chanted Satan… because it’s his stage name (recent source books have provided his real name is Mark of all things). All the stuff named after him is simply named after HIM. Genius.

Because Akira Toriyama thinks he’s clever.

Us kids would hardly get it? More like those of us with rational brains can see you’re making shit up, so you want to discredit anyone who disagrees with you right off the bat. I’ve seen some batshit insane diatribes before, but this one takes the cake. Cake, by the way means satanic piss food in Ecuadorian, so don’t ever eat it. Or anything, for that matter, because to eat means the maw of satan…

Also, there will be a satanic baby shower on Thursday, if anyone’s interested.

For those needing clensing from this hard trip of demonic stupidity, you should accept Super Saiyan Jesus as your lord and savior, if you wish to be saved.

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